Monday, May 22, 2017

Raising Jaws

In the beautiful words of my favorite author Bunmi Laditan (if you don't know who she is, go buy ALL of her books. All of them.)
"Toddlers are assholes, and it's not your fault."

  I don't have a lot left today. I'm tired and it was a stressful day. I'm basically just copy and pasting the post from Facebook. I went to Barre tonight and I really didn't want to go. But I did want to go because I needed a few MOMents away from this kiddo. I've said two is hard time and time again, but two is FUCKING hell. My friend Chasity said "They're just primal." I couldn't agree more... 
  My kid bit another kid today and I was so embarrassed. I became THAT mom, with THAT kid. "The biter." I cried from embarrassment and filled my head with shame. What did I do or not do to create this behavior? How did I as the parent mess up? I'm not giving him enough attention. I'm not meeting his needs.
  The mom of the other kid came over with a beautiful sense of humor and said to her son "you got chomped on? You'll be okay." 
  I turned to her with my tail between my legs and apologized. Tears were in my eyes, and stress created a Grand Canyon on my forehead. She laughed, telling me her son used to bite too, and that it happens. She wasn't hateful, or angry with me (or tater.) She just got it. She understood the emotions that were racing in my head. The other people with kids did the same thing. They comforted me, didn't shame me, and got it. No one around was angry, except for me. I was my own bully. There's a lot of pressure for parents to be perfect, and there is a lot of pressure for the small humans we are raising to be perfect too. Kids bite and hit. It's not always a reflection of bad parenting, but merely a reminder that kids will be kids. Parents will mess up, and not know what to do. Today I felt like a shit mom, but tomorrow is a new day, with new attitudes and new lessons. So if you're struggling tonight with your direction, or just in general know that you aren't alone. Kids are tough, but parents are tougher. We have to stick together, while making our own way.
  We also need to listen to what we say to ourselves. We are our own worst critic, and bully. The harsh reality of it is- none of us really know what we are doing. Take it easy on yourself too. We treat our souls like shit sometimes. We beat our spirits up, which causes emotional damage. I am emotionally abusive to myself. I'm too mean to me. ME of all people. 

Take some time tonight to wrap up into yourself and relax. We've got this.
On a different note, I think I'm going to change the blog name to Raising Jaws.

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