Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Giraffe Swears

           Image result for giraffe gif

  If you're anything like me, you've been watching that gosh damn giraffe NOT give birth for like a month. Seriously it's been forever, and I'm mildly starting to lose my mind. I have invested so much time into this stupid giraffe (sorry April, you aren't stupid. Just the zookeepers who keep saying 'any minute' are.) I feel like oddly connected to this silly little giraffe. It's probably because we were both in labor for an eternity.  I am dedicated to watching this baby arrive. Hell, even as I write this my phone is open to the live feed. I'm obsessed.
 As I think about why I'm watching this majestic animal not give birth, I'm really wondering why I'm so interested. It's not just me that is captivated by this. I'm pretty sure all the Mom's in America are sacrificing their limited free time to watch this giraffe.
  So why? Why am I so wonderstruck with April, and her unborn baby (who might not actually exist.) Why can't I dedicate myself to laundry, or working out like I do this giraffe? Oh those dishes can wait, I'm going to sit and watch NOTHING.FREAKING.HAPPEN. I can think of twenty different things I should be doing, or could be doing. I could clean my bedroom, or take a nap. I should vacuum my floors, and organize the laundry room. Yet here I sit, at my dining room table writing a meaningless blog post, and watching.

   After some soul searching, and googling giraffe gestation WAY too many times I've come to the conclusion on why we (Moms) are so captivated with April. We get it. We get the waiting game. We get why she hasn't had it yet. We like to think we understand what she is thinking. Are there giraffe swear words? If there are, she's probably thinking ALL of them. I know I sure am. (Runs to google giraffe swears.) Really think about how many times you said "Fuck" in labor. At this point I have said fuck more about this giraffe then I did pushing out a human being.
 Motherhood is this powerful tribe. Regardless of who, or what we are a Mom is a Mom- and use other Moms get it! It's like this cool connection that every women with kids has. Sometimes we acknowledge it, other times we don't. It's okay that we are spending half the day doing nothing, because we are uniting together as Moms for the greater good of this baby giraffe.
  So if anyone asks you why you're wasting your time watching the giraffe. All you have to say is "I'm watching with motherhood solidarity."

You're welcome for the excuse to do NOTHING today.

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