Saturday, January 23, 2016

Yesterday I didn't like being a Mom.

  Yesterday I did not like being a Mom. Guess what? That's okay. In previous posts I've talked about the pressure there is for Mom's (and Dad's too. I see you male readers) to be 100% perfect. Society wants you to be a certain "type" of Mom. There are 5 major "types" of parenting, and then like a 100 off branches of that, that have formed these ultra judge-y Parent Cults.
"Did you see Debbie, and how she parents?? She is SUCH a helicopter mom." I am absolutely guilty of this too, don't get me wrong. I also judge the heck out os SanctiMommies, but that's because I think they are just not nice human beings.
  But back to what I was saying before my A.D.D. spiraled out of control. Yesterday was tough. For some reason my normally independent and happy baby was a screaming cling ball of flesh. He hasn't been sleeping super great this week so you can add overtired to that. He didn't want to eat, and just wanted to be held. On top of all that I had to take him to work with me into a middle school, and try to teach. I wanted to pull my hair out. My arms hurt from carrying almost 30 pounds of human ALL day, I had a headache from the screaming, and I really just needed a minute to be alone in complete silence. As I was driving home I thought to myself, "I love being a Mom" over and over again. Then I looked back at my screaming child and said, "But today, I really don't like it."
  At first I felt guilty. How dare I say that? How dare I say I don't like the best thing that has ever happened to me? At this point I was crying out of pure frustration, not just with my day but with myself too. As I was drive/crying I thought about something I've heard my whole life.
               "You can love your family, but you don't always have to like them."
  I do love being a Mom. I do love my son, and my little family. I do love my life. But yesterday it was okay to not like it. Yesterday I was challenged, frustrated, and really just needed to turn the guts of boxed wine into an adult Capri Sun. It's okay to have bad days, and it's okay to not be the "perfect" Mom. Have your bad day, moment or hour, and then move on.
  The truth is, as long as your child is loved, loved on, fed, clothed and happy; you are obviously doing everything right.
  Don't fear bad days my friends. They catch up to all of us.
  You are ALL great parents.

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