Monday, October 12, 2015

Ra Ra Ra for insanity.

  Oh Monday, how you are my least favorite day. I recently have joined the working Mom force, and let me just start by saying how much this sucks. To all those working Mom's, you all rock. I'm working about 20 hours a week and I'm over it. I'm so damn tired I can hardly function. I'm obviously meant to be a house wife/ stay at home Mom. I don't know how you all do it. Working Mom's are warriors.
  Luckily this week is a vacation week, so I'm enjoying some "quiet" time. As I typed that Tater screamed as loud as possible, of course. Can I just say how much I miss the newborn stage? I swear I sleep less now then ever before... Between the horse shit that is teething and him waking up to stand all night long, I'm getting like 2 hours at a time. I also miss a non-mobile baby. I never realized how dirty my floor is until having a newborn. I swear I could sweep, mop, and them vacuum the floors and he would still manage to find some foreign object to shove right in his carrot whole. (Because babies can't have pie...) I think my floor just oozes random objects for my kid to eat. That is the only logical explanation I can come up with.
  Also, I will take quiet newborn screams of the natural sound of the "Almost Toddler". 9/10 times it sounds like someone is strangling a pterodactyl in my living room. Maybe Tater is trying to speak whale, who knows. I sometimes stand in my kitchen yelling "Come back!" like Dory in Finding Nemo.
  Let's talk about the disaster that eating is. Why is that the food on my plate always magically tastes better to this child? I could scoop some off my plate, and put it onto his and it still wouldn't be good unless it comes from my fork. So I no longer eat my meals around that monster. I have to hide when I eat, or else it turns into World War 3: Spaghetti Edition. The other day I actually got under the kitchen table so I could eat my dinner in peace. He could be in his crib fast asleep, but the second I open a granola bar he is awake screaming at me. What. Is. This..... I remember complaining about not eating during the newborn stage, but I will take that over this ANY day.
 I also miss the days where I didn't know the words to all the songs in Little Einstein's. Ra Ra Ra for Motherhood. As soon as I hear "We're going on a trip...." I feel like my brain is melting, and the small piece that is my soul is disappearing. NO LEO, I WILL NOT PAT AND CLAP! But I always end up doing it... Rocket and his gang of hooligans are controlling my life.
  Needless to say I really miss the Newborn days. I hope you all are having a good week.

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