Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Why I love to hate Pinterest.

 If you are anything like me, you spend a good chunk of your day surfing Pinterest. I've always considered myself to be a pretty crafty lady. I love to sew, and create projects, I love finding new recipes. I always thought I was pretty good at it! Then 2012 came along, and someone told me about this magical Crafting website that literally had everything you could ever imagine. It was so "Cool" to be apart of Pinterest that you actually had to request an account! I will never forget that email that said "You're in!" My day was filled with images of perfect Strawberry pies, and 4000 things you can do with glitter.
  I was in white girl heaven... I started Pinning like it was my job. I even started planning a wedding that I knew wasn't going to happen for a long time. (We all do it, and if you say you didn't you are a liar. The Weddings Pinterest Page is Heroin for the brain). I found so many recipes for cookies, pastas, and food that was not good for me. I was addicted. That night I even dreamed of Pinterest. I had a problem, and I LOVED it.
  December rolled around, and we refer to that specific December as the dark month... I baked so many cookie recipes off of Pinterest, that B and I both gained about 15 pounds... I couldn't stop... There were so many delicious recipes that were screaming at me. They all needed to be made... and they were... I had no shame.
  Next thing I knew it was January... I wanted so badly to continue my Pinterest cookie binge, but I knew that was bad for all parties involved..  I sadly deleted the Pinterest app from my phone, and moved on. Before I knew I had completely forgotten about Pinterest. Then about a year and a half later I got engaged... I GOT TO PLAN MY PINTEREST WEDDING. I downloaded the app maybe 50 minutes after he popped the question.
  Of course, as soon as I started using it for wedding planning I started using it for everything. In 3 weeks I pinned 147 recipes. (None of them were cookies, thank God). I started doing all these DIY projects, and One Pot meals.

   At this point I realized something, and it was really sad. I absolutely SUCK at Pinterst-ing. My One Pot Pasta that was supposed to be a creamy bundle of mushroom, sausage-y goodness, really was a crunchy bowl of over sauteed crap. The "easy" DIY headband from an old tshirt made me look like a Unicorn, and that Glitter covered Letter P really just made it look like Tinkerbell took a giant glitter dump in my living room. (Still finding glitter from that)
  My inner "White Girl" was crying, well my outer "white girl" was so mad about being a Pinterest-Failure. I felt as though the Glitter Gods were going to take away my North Face jacket, and never let me go to Starbucks again. I went to B crying... All I wanted was to be a Pinterest Goddess, and I just sucked at it! I had to take another Pinterest break. I looked at it maybe once a week.

Then again, something exciting happened... I was pregnant, and needed Nursery ideas. I ran to Pinterest like it was my long lost lover. I (again) spent HOURS of my life flipping through all the perfect projects people had done. The nurseries were so flawless! When we found out we were having a boy I knew exactly what I was going to do! There was a perfect forest nursery that had deer, and trees and birds... That is what I wanted... no NEEDED to do. I showed my sister (who is the definition of flawless. Her pinterest crafts are always perfect and it makes me want to throat punch her... no really, I love you A) the photo, and she was honest with me. (She knows how bad I suck) "The deer will be hard and time consuming"... two words that I love to hate.
  She was very optimistic that we could make the trees and a bird or two look really cute. That Saturday she came over ready to paint (but of course her "painting attire was looked better than anything I had worn in the last 8 months). She outlined the trees, and I was left to fill them in and start the branches... She turned her back for 45 seconds, and the two branches I had done looked like two Penises crossing. I won't forget her laugh... I told her I sucked at this whole craft nonsense...
  After laughing so hard it hurt, we got back to work. She helped me and my phallic branches head in the right direction. Things were going really well until I decided to try to do a bird... 'Fat Rodney' as we so affectionately named him, looked like a duck/something hybrid... it was not at all cute... A tried to save him, but there was no hope... Fat Rodney looks like shit, but I love him. The rest of our mural looked awesome thanks to my sister...

   Anyway, I love Pinterest, but I hate that I suck at it... maybe one day I'll get my shit together and figure out how to Pinterest but until then... Pinterest; I love to hate you.        jfhjdsakjfhjdskhfasd

Pinterest Version
What really happened

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