Saturday, March 21, 2015

10 things I did this morning that I'm not ashamed of.

  This morning has been an interesting one, to say the least. B has work so it's just been me, and the Tater. He has been a needy little man this morning. Nothing but holding him has soothed him. (Which I don't mind because baby snuggles are the shit and he is after all a baby).
 Anyway, with becoming a mom you start doing some things that would seem questionable to your previous self. Sometimes I do things, and once I do them I have to say to myself "wait, did I seriously just do that?" Yes. Yes I sure did!
So here are 10 things I did this morning that my previous self wouldn't have done. Yet I'm still not ashamed....

1) Febreezing my pants, instead of putting them in the washer. B was TOTALLY guilty of this when we first met. I'm pretty sure he didn't do laundry for like a year. The first time I stayed the night at his house I did his laundry well he slept. Hot right? 
2) I waited for the last two drops of coffee to slowly drip into my mouth from my Starbucks cup. Those two drops clearly help when you're this tired. Duh.
I then pouted because I was out of coffee...
3) I used the song Bootylicious to calm my spawn. If you've seen Friends, the episode where Ross and Rachel sing Baby Got Back, that's EXACTLY what was happening in my kitchen.
4) Dropped my bagel on the floor.... Picked it up and ate it. Waste not, want not mother f*ckers. At least I think that's the saying. Who knows, I'm tired.
5) I farted in public and blamed the baby. 
6) I got in the shower partially dressed.
7) I let my dogs bark at the little rat dog next door for 30 minutes without giving a flying fuck. (If you are my neighbor, your dog is a little dick)
8) I pooped with an infant in my lap (don't worry, I set him down in his bather for most of it)
9) I got thrown up on, and just wiped it off with a baby wipe.
10) I shamelessly just told the Internet how gross I am now that I'm a mom. No  right? It's okay, I'm secretly judging myself. 

Feel free to share your gross mom moments!

As always, let me know if you enjoy what I post!


1 comment:

  1. Yes. I poop with him in my arms often. I Can't even think of what else I do.